Saturday, August 27, 2011


Ain't she a beaut? Like a furry, swirly bunny tail. It feels like it has been DAYS of talking about it--I guess it has--but I am surprised at how completely freaked out everything has gotten. The local ABC station has basically been non-stop news all day. There is quite a lot to report, so there's reason for it, but I'd be lying if I said it hasn't ramped up the anxiety about the approaching storm. Evacuation zones, stocking up for days without open grocery stores or restaurants, the MTA shutting down all service at noon today...and of course the semi-jubilant media anticipation for what might happen.

You know, when I was in middle school one of my frenemies never called me by my actual name. Guess what she called me??? I-REEEENE. And that's exactly how she'd say it. Considering the little shit I was at 13, it makes sense that this ahole hurricane is named Irene.

I've spent most of the day prepping for the storm. Probably over-prepping. Example:

I'm not even sure what duct taping windows will do, but I also duct taped around the air conditioner which should (I hope) keep most of the water out. I also made a big bag of ice and cooked up extra food to eat should the worst happen (flooding, electricity out, etc.). Tonight I'll make sure the phone and laptop are also charged up. I won't be able to access the internet via the laptop, but I will have phone access (I hope). Lots and lots of "I hopes."

Of course, people are having far too much fun with the prospect of a huge storm approaching:

The video will most certainly be taken down at some point, but let's enjoy the sight of a bouncing ding dong on the Weather Channel for as long as we can. The reporter's disgust with the infantile, fratty high jinks is similar to the shaming, scolding tones I've seen other reporters exhibit over the course of the day. After all, the only people who can gleefully anticipate this event are the media.

Now there are reports of tornadoes and tornado watches very close to NYC. We got cows.

Gothamist has some semi snarky reports on the day's events. Luckily for me, I just have to turn on a local station and the minute-by-minute coverage will be there for me. Finally:

This just made me laugh and laugh. I guess we're all feeling a bit infantile and fratty. Booyah.

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Sunday, August 14, 2011

Independence Day

People (friends, family, acquaintances, haters) have wondered over the years why OH why Independence Day is my favorite movie. The new Star Trek movie definitely threatens that most awesome moniker of perfection, but for now let's just say that my favorite movie is Independence Day (1996).

Why is it my favorite? So many reasons (I shouldn't have to defend):

Evildoer aliens vs. the Planet pre-9/11. All things prior to 9/11 were somehow sweet and innocent. Remember Patriot Games? Irish militants? Now seems twee, doesn't it?

Jeff Goldblum. Nerd Muscle. Sex Geek. Checkmate.

Bill Pullman's speech. No President has ever given a speech that will match this one. It is beyond soaring. And the cheesy saluting airman only adds to the excellence. How often do we both laugh and cry?

Will Smith in his first role as American we'd all love to be and possibly slow kiss. I haven't seen all WS movies since his most righteous role in Independence Day ( 7 Pounds, Wild Wild West) but I've seen the ones that make me believe there is no greater pop American actor worthy of our dollars and adoration. That is, of course, if he can stay the course with aliens/disaster/general action genres.

Judd Hirsch. "You wanna borrow the car?"

The fact that our dumb asses could ever figure out how to kill their alien-evil-satellite abusing overlord ways. Do notice that our basic answers are always a "virus." Note that this is also the thing that will also probably kill us, too. Eventually.

Adam Baldwin being all military sexay. Brent Spiner being all science nerday? Vivica A. Fox being all juicy-strippy sassay?

The Moment. I'd never experienced an opening day movie before. Especially not one with that much advance excitement and expectation. What was better was the fact that we were in LA that week to celebrate my ex-husband's grandmother's birthday. We visited Universal Studios on July 4, 1996, and one of the highlights the day (and the trip) was the premier viewing of Independence Day at the theater on site. The audience was down like a clown for all the emotional highs and lows of the movie. They screamed, yelled, laughed, and applauded throughout the movie, and this forever imprinted on my tiny monkey mind. Independence Day = happy/joy spikes of feelings iced with sugar-spiked edges of glee.

I've viewed this movie countless times since it's been released on DVD. It remains one of my very favorites: most quotable, most memorable, most wonderful. My biggest wish, extraplanetary-wise, is that aliens who find us will be peaceful, kind, helpful, or just bored enough to pass us by. It would be nice if they understood our humor, or at least my humor (and that of this wedding party, God bless them for all eternity!) and love us for the monkey dweebs we are:

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Chicken Rex

Evidence. A Rex Foot:

A Chicken Foot:

Basically the same, save a few hundred pounds and a mouthful of teeth. But I bet if you ever pick up a chicken and try to snorgle it, that chicken will give you the Evil Eye of Carnage the entire time...if it doesn't peck your face off first. Warriors!!!

Friday, August 12, 2011


First, let's celebrate monkeys with my two favorite monkey videos...

Now let's talk about this new monkey movie, Rise of the Planet of the Apes. YEAH. Because bitches, you knew it would happen...not just the remakes, but the reality. Don't think those hairy bitches won't rise up one day and lay us all to rest. Violently. Just the testing alone should earn that for us, yes?

Side note: Now you are wondering about my thoughts on animal testing and our development/survival as homo sapiens. I have to honor all the animals who have died thus far for our advancement, but I don't agree with it. I am THANKFUL, but I would prefer we utilize our own genetic material to test everything henceforth. That includes stem cells. If it is HUMAN, it can be tested. I think the animals have done their share at this point.

Personally, I HATE the Planet of the Apes movies. ALL OF THEM. HATE HATE HATE. The originals upset me greatly. I was not developed enough to understand the layers of sociopolitical learnings they were surely meant to teach. I just knew that in one of the movies one of the monkey couples were harassed and one was shot. It meant...what? What? I don't even want to guess what it meant at the time. I don't like it now, hated it then. It was somehow gross and offensive. As I child, I didn't know an adult I could guess...but feel upset and pissed off that it should ever force me to think about it at all. Let's be clear: for the times, this wasn't about monkeys. It wasn't. And that's mostly what pisses me off.

I hated the Marky Mark version, too, by the way. Stupid.

There were two things that made me think twice about this newest version. First, the CGI. Finally it wasn't that creepy matter how masterful, completely oogy. Second, the music. WOW, great job! They could have used this for any number of end-of-world movies. It tells the story completely. I mean, just listen to it. Don't you feel panicked?

The only failing, of course, is not including the raptors in this uprising. The eagles, the hawks...the direct decedents of T. Rex: the Chicken. Imagine CGI Chicken giving the stink eye to the humans, sharpening the fighting claw. Yes, they have fighting claws.

Thursday, August 11, 2011


I sent this in an email to my peeps at the end of the day today.

It was at the end of a chummy, funny exchange, but still. ZOMG WTF wha happen? I can haz professionalzzezz. Ug.