Friday, March 22, 2013

The Stuebenville Rape

I've been watching the coverage of the Steubenville rape and it's taken me some days to settle into my thoughts on the situation. It was a story that has probably played out thousands of times in my lifetime, almost entirely without consequences. Teens will be teens, and if you get drunk, well, whatever happens, happens. That's pretty much been the status quo since I can remember. In this day where everything is documented, suddenly we are fully AWARE. Or are we?

The greatest outrage in the latter part of this story is the media's skewed sympathies toward these poor boys, whose lives are now ruined by conviction, and how their future's are tarnished at best. There's been a lot of enraged screaming about RAPE IS RAPE and how dare those fuckstick idiots in the media sympathize with those boys? All I can think is, really? NOW you are upset, now you are calling for their heads?

I am sorry, but where the fuck were you when I was getting sexually assaulted daily in the halls of my junior high? I had boys come up to me and grab my tits, both surreptitiously, and, in one memorable incident, in front of an entire hallway of kids. They said disgusting things about me, behind my back and in my face. I had greasy lips pressed against my ear saying the most vile, aggressive, terrifying things. Multiple boys grabbed my ass and one boy actually came up behind me at my locker and jammed his finger directly in my crotch. He did it so hard that it was not just in my crotch but up it. Boys will indeed be boys.

Later in high school when I complained of my junior high experiences to my new, college-bound, seemingly enlightened male friends, this is the answer I got: It happened to everybody. All the time. Get over it.

That happened in the 80s. That happened to me and happened of thousands upon thousands of girls since, I am sure. Teenaged boys are hormonal, y'all. They don't understand. They don't know any better. Boys will be boys.

So it is with cold, bitter resignation that I watched the coverage of the media's sympathy for the boys. Because that's how it's always been...boys will be boys. They are only boys, don't you understand? They didn't know any better...they didn't mean to do could they have known that treating a girl like less than a dog would lead to such (inconsequential...a few years in juvie??) consequences?

At the same time, I have to ask: Where was all of this outrage when this shit was so "commonplace" back when I was a kid? Why didn't my teachers protect me? Why didn't my guidance counselors do something? Because I reached out. I tried. As it was told to me, it is better to go along to get along. Boys will be boys. And, later, my enlightened older friends assured me, It's just what happens. What can you do?

I am glad that people are finally understanding that sexual assault and rape of minors by minors might actually be a concern. At the same time, I have to tell you: Don't be surprised when the town, the parents, and the media wring their hands over the fates of said assaulters and rapists. After all, they are only boys.

Boys will be boys!
Rape is hilarious!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

All Dogs and Most Cats Go to Heaven

If you need evidence that dogs have souls (SO MUCH SOOOUUULLL) you just have to watch them greeting their people when they come back from war. It's relief enough to know that these soldiers are back home safe (even if it is only temporary) but to see the unfiltered, completely freaked out love that these animals show upon seeing their people, it's all the proof we need to know that dogs have souls.

Weirdly, there are no heartwarming videos of cats reuniting with their soldiers. If there were videos, they would probably be the cat assessing the soldier's face for a moment then turning to show them some butthole. Because cats are all like "Take a look at my fab ass." That's cat love.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013


I cannot deal with the squeaky toy magicalness of this little sock toy with eyes and claws. OMG OMG.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Honey Boo Boo is a Skank Ass WHORE

Did I get your attention? Good. If you agreed with that post title, you are an Ass.

Honey Boo Boo is a CHILD. What happened to our society's commitment to protecting our children? This only applies to people who don't participate in pageants? Really?

This child is eight years old. I don't care that her family chose to put her in pageants. I don't care that they taught her to say sassy things.

What YOU should care about is remembering that she is a CHILD.

I would rather support Honey Boo Boo in pageants, shaking her thing, acting a fool, one THOUSAND times more than supporting media outlets that forget she is a child and demonize her for what her family has chosen to let her participate in. FUCK YOU, everyone that uses her name for hate and bile.

I saw this recently with Entertainment Weekly...some offhand bitchyness that was totally unjustifuied. But they are not alone. People apparently think that because of the exploitation of her pageant life and willingness to participate in the Honey Boo Boo show that this entitles them to insult and dehumanize her.

She is EIGHT YEARS OLD. Leave her alone.

It's sad that I even have to say this. I guess the only kids that count are...fill in blank. General populous, A QUESTION: How will you be judged should your child go missing? Are you white? Well off? Have you participated in the most safe, community-centric, Christian activities? What if you haven't? What if you are a non Church goer? What if you are tattooed, on parole, blue collar class or "worse"? I guess if your kid in a ditch it's intersting...but not as much as some other couple's child, should such a horror ever visit them. And what if the "horror" is "just" extreme judgement? Honey Boo Boo, also known as Alana Thompson, is EIGHT YEARS OLD.

We should be holding her up, celebrating her weirdness, and maybe just letting this offhand celebrity wear itself out...we can do that without shaming the child, can't we? Civilized society? What do you think?