Monday, March 30, 2009

Kittens! Got New Toys from Gramma

And they love them! Thanks, Gramma!

Oh Lord, am I really talking like this? Am I, alas, a maniac?

Playing it shy.

But starting to get the drift.

Will you Look. At. That. Belly. LOOK AT IT.

Awwww, another belly!

Death Fang from Below!!

Snugglebug drools up the new octopus with magical crinkly arms.

Hey, some videos! First, Mr. Jack O'Lantern and his proshness.

Then the beebles falling for the old swish-swish-swish trick, thereby making themselves dizzy. Fooles!

And finally, this is how they spend a great deal of time mooning at each other. He trills at her like a little birdie, and she drops on his head like a beclawed cannonball.


Saturday, March 28, 2009

Colbert on Rye

Friday, March 27, 2009

You're Not Supposed to Touch Elmo!

This makes me laugh, praise Gawd.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Things I Love Right Now

Role Models

It features puerile, testosterone-infused comedy, Kiss, severe perversion, and dirty shenanigans in the presence of minors. “Let’s dance, Ben Affleck!”

“All of My Life” by Stephen Bishop

I watched and rewatched this music montage part of Tootsie today. Look, I know it is wrong. I just can’t help myself.

“Masculinity defined in 14 seconds"

...courtesy of FourFour. It’s funny because it’s true.


Thanks a million (meeeellionss!) to Dave and Ruth for this lovely piece of chicken. Is it not prosh?

Stephen Colbert’s Hot Shmeat

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
World of Nahlej - Shmeat
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorMark Sanford

This Guy

His name is Sergio Parisse. I know little else, except he looks like Brando. Holy GOD IN HEAVEN.

Crabtree and Evelyn

...specifically, Nantucket Briar. I’ve been luxuriating in Savannah Gardens all weekend. Thank God for bonuses and tax returns. Otherwise I’d be a sad bitch.

Jeff Goldblum on Criminal Intent

He had me at Jurassic Park and Independence Day. I am kind of way overexcited about his weirdness mixing in with the D’Onofrio weirdness that already exists. LOVE!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Happy St. Patrick's Day (A Day Late and a Dollar Short)

I meant to post this earlier today but then I la la lahhed into a stupor of work drudgery and drooling into my lap. I saw that Aimee the Great had this linked on her Gmail account, it made me laugh, so I have to post it here. I do miss being 8 and sitting 5 inches from the TV watching these weirdos.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Kittens! The Musical

I know, you are so sick of them by now, right? Like, whatever: Kittens! But CMON, they are prosh. And my photography is beyond professional encroaching on artistic. Quiver in my creative wake, hags! And now, the fancy slide show...

She's either saying nanny-nanny-boo-boo or trying to groom my forehead.


Please note the teeny tongue. And also: She's high.

And soooo bored.

Her first real experience with the open window. She could not figure out the curtain.

Once she had full access, the madness descended. If her eyes had bugged more, they would have fallen out.

Yazzle, here is a belly shot for your perusal. What do you think? Time for a tummy tuck?

The wee bronco.

He such a delicate little gent. He's totally prancy fancy.
First hit of catnip. She's gone completely psychotic. Note that rockin' manicure.

Even the gentle gents can stoop low and get high.

Really high.

Another belly shot. Seriously, she's a roaster. right?


Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Evil Filet O Fish Devil Hell Satan Commercial

When will this promotion end? This commercial gives me the MAJOR CREEPS. I don't think it's clever, I don't think it's funny, and I HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT. I want to hit it with a hammer. I'll hit that damn sandwich with a hammer, too!


Saturday, March 07, 2009

Things That Will Make Me Burst Into Tears of Joy

1. Blue Whales. The National Geographic channel has a special on them beginning this Sunday, actually. They profiled the special on GMA last week, and just seeing that had me gulping and hopping around the living room. The thought of them both frightens and exhilerates me. I think I am just overwhelmed by the notion of such an enormous animal. I also have a completely irrational terror of depths, so I suppose the idea of such a massive animal finding a space of darkness and horror comfortable is just awesome. Number one top "To Do" dream? Swimming in that vast terror, submerging into the depths to share the space and even touch the side of a Blue Whale. And then probably drown because I am sobbing hysterically in my scuba gear. Like a foo.

2. Sage singing and playing her guitar. Who knew such a reserved, serious child could belt it out like that? If this is her at the beginning of her musical path, who can imagine where she could go with it. Just thinking about it takes my breath away.

3. Historical places...specifically, Westminster Abbey. Growing up in Kansas affords only a fraction of "history" in the human impact sense. Most of the old buildings have been torn down, and there's not much history past Old West lore, pioneering, and, of course, all the dead indigenous cultures from which we harvested maize and the naming of places we stole (see, Wichita tribe). So, travelling anyplace with a significantly deeper history than Kansas is bound to rock my world. For me, Westminster Abbey is one of the places that evokes a strong sense of history. All those dead kings, queens, and poets...I wasn't expecting to have such an emotional reaction, but I did.

4. The Grand Canyon. This is a different kind of history: Geological history that shakes me to the core. It evokes thoughts of events even more titanic and surreal, like Pangaea or the Valles Marineris (which, no doubt, would also make me cry). It is one of those things you really must see in person. Pictures are fantastic, but nothing compares to standing at the end of it and staring into eternity. It is very quiet, except for the wind, and it is very hard to take the experience lightly.

5. The National Air and Space Museum on the National Mall in Washington, D.C., specifically, this:
When my friend Bryan took me there when I visited him several years ago, I am not sure what I thought I'd see. Somehow "museum" just didn't get through my thick skull, because I really didn't think what I was seeing was the "real" thing. We were looking at this capsule when I made some brilliant observation about how remarkably real it looked (corrosion, burn marks). My friend gave me the look you reserve for the most softheaded people you know and gently explained that it was, in fact, THE REAL THING. While I didn't bawl hysterically in the middle of the damn museum, there were tears. Again, there was the historical relevance, but in this case it tapped in to one of my great loves: space travel. Ask me how many times I've seen The Right Stuff. A hundred million times.

6. Landing in Wichita after a long time away, looking down on the city and knowing so much of it like the back of my hand.

7. The crescendo moment/emotional endings in...

--E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial. The moment when Elliott discovers E.T. is still alive is also the moment I entirely lose my shit.
--The end of the 1983 movie Without a Trace. It's basically 10 minutes of near-hysterical crying.
--The end of The Color Purple. And if you don't cry at that, then I just don't know what.

8. Quiet, sweeping views of Earth from space. I mean, look at it.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Kittens! Beeble Update

The boogerbutts are doing well. Jack has made great leaps in courage. He usually keeps a safe distance from me when we are outside of his "safe zone" (the bathroom), but I got my first leg rub just this week. He trusts me more when my back is turned, I guess. He is certainly the more vocal of the two, as evidenced below.

Snugglebug is taking her sweet time growing into those ears. In the meantime, I nom them and kiss her on the head. Her favorite things to do to me?

1. Knead, knead, knead my neck. She kneads my neck and tries to stick her head as far under my chin as she can, all the while purring like a baby buzzsaw.
2. Stick her paw on my lips. It grosses me out. It's like she's giving me the hand 'cause the face don't want to hear it.

Look at their awesome new toy. Half of the feathers have been torn out already.

I tried and tried to get a good pic of Jack tonight, but he senses the flash and gives me the Clint Eastwood every time. You'll just have to take my word for it: Most of the time he looks like a wide-eyed boxer. Here are some of tonight's spaghetti western shots:

Finally, another cute video. Yes, in both, the screeching squeaktoy voice is my own. For those of you accustomed to my silky baritone, just know that I cannot help myself. In the presence of beebles, I turn completely daffy.