Friday, January 25, 2008

This Week In My Brain

In No Particular Order…things I've been thinking about/obsessing over...

Kit’s Krazy Avant Garde Dress, Or “Now I Know I Have No Fashion Sense.”

If you don’t watch Project Runway, you may skip this. I love this show. I love the frantic pace, the catty comments, and the clothes…some inspired, some that should go directly to the clearance rack or be set on fire. I love Tim Gunn and wish to be his good friend who joins him for dinner. The judges are thoroughly annoying and more so as the years progress…Heidi who thinks everything looks cheap, bored little Nina, and Michael Kors and his aversion to those “insane crotches.” Whatever. My dream three designers to make it to fashion week? Christian, because he is 14 and fierce; Sweatpea, because she really is talented despite her own biker-hippie aesthetic; and Chris because I just love him. Not Ricky and his hooker outfits made through rivers of tears, not Jillian and her tidy, cold soul, and definitely not Rami, who is genuinely mean and knows how to do one thing—drape. He should work at the Home Décor department at Macy’s where he could drape all the live long day…and in New York he could be as mean as cats tethered across a clothesline. M’kay?

But here’s this dress, made by Kit (at left), intended to be “avant garde.” Kit was never a favorite for me, but I really liked this dress. I felt that it certainly fit the assignment criteria (and by leaps and bounds over Rami’s damn draperies) but she still got the ax for it in the end. Her everyday wear counterpart dress was pure dishrag, granted, but the “main” piece was not. I just don’t get it, I guess. Or I’m just too Crabtree and Evelyn to ever understand real fashion.

Curry in a Hurry, Local Time

We secured our visas for India today—I have my passport in hand, now sporting the Official Sticker and Stamp of Authority as required to travel to India. I called the travel agent and booked it all out—I just have to get final word from the vendors and then we can lock the itinerary down.
I can’t lie: I’m nervous. Traveling to a very different country and experiencing a very different culture is one thing…having to do so while evoking a certain level of professionalism and (gulp) authority is quite another. Next comes the shots…and the packing, and the plotting, and the worrying! Huzzah! Nevertheless, I am very excited. And I have Adairdevil, in part, to thank. Nice pep talk, yo. We fly in March!

Warning: Watch Animal Planet Never! If You Want to Live

The new torture is a Pedigree commercial. Want to burst into tears? Go ahead and watch the damn thing. You can also watch the older one to squeeze your wee heart into a little broken nugget of sadness.

Man on Mars, Or “Gimme Something to Believe In…”

God I hate that song. You could really vomit blood if you had to hear that crap back-to-back with “Every Rose Has Its Thorn.” I digress.

You’ve all seen him, right? That little space rover rumba vacuum cleaner thing took a picture of this view (right) and now everyone is trying to make everyone else believe that it is a being…an alien being from Mars.

Okay, I am a Star Nerd. I am way OK with that. I mean, Kaplah, Oo-tee-nee, and live long and prosper, but come ON. First, Mars is so played out…it’s old school sci fi. I’d be willing to accept the existence of fossilized algae on Mars…but a space dude? Second, it looks kind of green. Doctored? Yes. Where’s the originality, people? Little green men on Mars? Ridiculous.

I knew what it was the first moment I saw it: It’s a statue left behind by a race of hyperintelligent space beings for us to find and freak out about. Duh.

Corn Chex Is the Devil’s Kronch

Ack. I haven’t had Corn Chex for many, many years. I’ve looked at it longingly many times, but then I would force myself to grab the multi-wheat-bark chex because it was “healthier.” I don’t know what drove me to break down, finally, but I did. I did it. And it’s magic. Corny magic.

Sea Foam Comes Alive, Eats Australia

Sea Foam

Is Disgusting. I can’t stop thinking about it.

Burnout Paradise Makes You Take Your Turn

One of my favorite video games is the Burnout series of racing / crashing games brought to you by the clever blokes at Criterion. Mad, mad love greets each successive game and this one is no exception. I got to play it for about 20 minutes on Wednesday night (before passing out at 8:30, can you say senior discount?) and it certainly seemed very promising. It will require a lot more memory than I’m used to harnessing, but the gameplay is as rowdy and violent as ever. As a true blue road rager, it does it for me. However, one very, very bad thing: Only one person may play at a time. I can’t even guess how many hours it will take to complete this game. That leaves one very unhappy boyfriend waiting in the wings, pretending he doesn’t care when I know damn well that he does. What the hell, Criterion?

People Die

There’s no mystery in the overwhelming reaction to Heath Ledger’s death. You don’t have to actively seek out information on celebrities anymore…every detail of every minute is everywhere. It makes sense that people feel that they know him.

I thought it was sad news and I would bet that it was an accident, a mixing of too many pharmaceuticals too close together. I didn’t have a particular feeling about him, really, but I always thought he was good at his job. I was kind of bored at the prospect of a new Batman movie, but his approach to the Joker as seen in the brief teasers made me want to see the movie.

It is okay to be affected by a stranger’s death. He was a talented and decent-seeming person who made a positive impression on this world. Some will be more upset than others. All OK and natural and I don’t think that shouldn’t be mocked or shamed. What should be? The inevitable slide into hellbound vapidity as the entertainment media’s vampiric greed finds them sucking the tears off the face of the whole grim affair. So, acknowledgment to a sad loss. And a big fat Suck It You Evil Jackals and Stop Courting Damnation to the entertainment press. Thx!

Monday, January 21, 2008


Saw it yesterday and I really liked it. (Alleged rendering of I don't know what at left.) After seeing the progression of ads for the film, I'd lost all hope at enjoying this movie. All I could think was, Great, another Godzilla movie. Oh. Boy. Here's what: For a "monster-attacks-the-city" movie, it's the best you could wish for. The handheld camera is disorienting (in a theater, you have to close your eyes a few times) but also makes it a visceral experience. There is a firefight that feels like it is really happening in a breath's reach.

The handheld mode also keeps you just as informed as the characters you are following, running through the streets, evading all the different kinds of danger that evolve as the movie progresses. You don't know what is going on, what is coming next, what to expect. I spent a lot of the movie freaked out and gasping. Considering the abundance of scary movies out there, I couldn't have hoped for more.

One part did bother me: When very bad things start to happen, several of the first events are entirely too reminiscent of September 11. I realize that it is fast track way of getting the audience fully emotionally vulnerable--and if the movie maker denies the intent, he's lying and that's that--but it felt unnecessarily manipulative all the same. Plus I wasn't really thinking "Oo, monster movie" at that moment...I was thinking, "What the hell are you doing. Stop that." Because one too many people are currently exploiting the horror of that day for self-promoting endeavors. No need to pile on.

Luckily, the familiarity stops there. No doubt, monster movies trek the same beaten path with few true moments of originality. Cloverfield managed to surprise and thrill and I am happy that my initial fears were proven wrong.

Speaking of TREKS, the previews for Cloverfield featured the first ad for the upcoming Star Trek movie, also from JJ Abrams. I have to admit I geeked out a little, even though the original Star Trek was never really my thing. In my defense, the whole reason I hated it was Kirk...and that heinous 60s futurism. Mostly Kirk, though. As a child, he reminded me of that adult friend of a friend of my mom's that was always entirely creepy and probably harboring a hot case of crabs. You know, the type that tells 8 year olds how pretty they are one too many times and always smells of dead beer? Gross.

I am, however, forever in lurve with Next Generation, which means I'm always going to keep an open mind about whatever new derivation of Star Trek comes along. And this one has Sylar as Spock! I mean, come ON. I'm kind of required to already love it.

Note to Trekian power, can you put Michael Dorn in all of your dang movies, ok? I mean, seriously. Look at him. Mm hmm...

Go see Cloverfield!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

I Love Heem

My mom always gags when I talk about catching and keesing crows (George!) whenever I see them in Wichita, but look at this video and tell me these little weirdoes don't have SOME redeeming qualities. Smart little things, ay? I'd still have my face in the glass, trying to grab the tasty with my tongue.

Happy Birthday, Face Kicker

& let us never 4get our favorite Unicorn Woman, Crystal, and her scaryass love letter from “Sam.” Happy Birthday, Adairdevil!!

Monday, January 14, 2008

Hey. Look! Some Chickens...

Erm. There are chickens, it is true. Fuzzy baby ones. And one pecks Lady Chatterley, which makes her cry and, of course, leads to crazy hot sex. As it happens…

What possessed me? Who can say. I searched for “Lady Chatterley’s Lover” and lo’ and behold…A nice little clippity. The song is excellent. Let’s face it…the movie may be over-the-top but that chicken scene? Lord, lord. Deliver me from evil. Or not.

So enjoy the song if nothing else. And check out the movie, at least for the chicken scene. Not necessarily for the chickens, tho.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Weepy McWeepersons

The ASPCA is trying to kill me. Have you seen the commercial yet? Sarah McLachlan is in on it. Watching sad-eyed little animals to the song "In the Arms of the Angels" gets me EVERY TIME. Serious welling tears and lip trembles. I definitely need to save a little animal. And call him George.

No sign of my lady bug. I hope she's still hanging out, narming on gnats. Yum!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy Chicken Year!

This was a memorable trip home for a variety of reasons--some good, some really bad--but I am back in NY, safe and sound, and several chickens richer. Some photos, not all chicken-related...

My glorious glass chicken, purchased for a song...well, not a song, but it was a steal. Remember when glass and crystal trinkets were the rage? Every Christmas, someone always scored a crystal mouse or glass unicorn. Well, look at the technological advances! Isn't he a dream?

He is a little cock-eyed, though. (shame)

Hey, some art! From my sister, the artist. She was able to do quite a lot of work on this project, as well as many others, while we were snowed in and kid-free.

This is the most awesome calendar ever created on earth. I've never heard of this guy, but I love him and his wild roosters of joy.

More roosters...two gents I've named Steve and Sven. They love each other.

My niece, Mz. Ebil Incarnate.