Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Go Fuck Yourself, Dear Abby

Ironically, one of my consistent acts of "digital snacking" while I ate lunch at my desk every day at work was to check into Dear Abby on Yahoo. Little did I know that Abby had joined the army of fatty haters in this world, cloaked in the disgust of the majority, easily dismissing and dissing one of her sad, FATTY fans in the following post:

http://news.yahoo.com/overweight-womans-bikini-top-gets-harsh-review-mom-050007835.html

When I read it, I was of course appalled. It is SO EASY for the thin and healthy to judge, isn't it? If you've never overeaten or suffered from obesity (for whatever reason) you do NOT. KNOW. WHAT. YOU. ARE. FUCKING. TALKING. ABOUT. You DON'T. Stop trying to play, you don't have a pass. FUCK OFF.

The most bullshit thing I've ever heard (many times) is how concerned people are about my "health." That is DARLING. Go on and keep telling your angel self that this is the reason you hate my fatty boombalatty ass. PLEASE. Because the only one convinced is YOU. When you say this to me, I hear you, I do...I hear I HATE YOUR FAT FUCKING SELF. Say the truth, bitches. I will say the truth to you, too. How about that?

How about:

  1. Nice to be so self aware and self possessed, ain't ya.
  2. If you are truly concerned about all the FAT ASSES in your life, why are you only sharing this "deep concern" with me? And, conversely, is this an open forum? May I discuss your eating issues, drinking, judgmental behaviors about EVERYTHING with you? I am concerned that your open legs will give you AIDS. OH, I AM SORRY. Was that wrong?
  3. Nice to be so skinny because you willed yourself to be so because nooooo, you weren't pressured at ALL from your parents, etc., and convinced that you were SHIT if you weren't thin. YAY for you.
  4. Nice to be genetically gifted with gazelle genes and do not EVEN TRY to pretend that we are all the same. My natural body type starts at sweet, squishy marshmallow. I would like to see you TRY to understand.
  5. Nice that you grew up in an active home, full of sporting, full of encouragement, full of fitness. Goody FUCKING for you.
  6. Nice that you are wired to care about fitness, your body sense, your whole self worth is wrapped up in your fitness and how others perceive you. On the other hand, my condolences. STOP pretending like we all fell out of the same mold. Stop doing it with me and I promise to do it with you, you loose ass WHORE. After all, it isn't your fault that your mother was a hooker and your daddy was a pimp, AMIRIGHT? And if they weren't, and you are still a dirty whore...my gosh. What is your excuse? Let's analyze it in an open, judge-y forum, shall we?

It is so easy to judge. Believe me, I judge people DAILY, so I already forgive you for hating my FAT ASS. Some people are massive assholes that parade their bad personalities all over life's stage. Others act like the world is just waiting to see them peacock all over the world like a shiny rainbow diamond shellbot. Still others smoulder in their own briny hate, burning to grate their hate all over everyone they can easily judge, scour, scorn, and best. Fuck all of you.

I live in this world in this body because of [REASONS]. Oh, I am sorry, are you pissed because I did not explain? Let's get right to it...in this world of oversharing, let's share: It Is Not Your Fucking Business. I am going through my own shit. I know exactly why I am, where I am and I DO NOT apologize. As someone so wise once said:

You don't know me. You don't know my LIFE.

So fuck you, Dear Abby. Fuck you and your bullshit "advice." Kiss my shiny, fat ass.