Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Ferdinand the Perturbed

Some people love kittens, some people love dogs. I love chickens . . . and bulls. God, they're mean bastards. Cutest little goremongers, ever. Wildly gross, too. Somebody needs a hanky . . . and a snuggle! *smooch smooch smooch*

Monday, November 20, 2006

You Belong to the City

I've been in a Miami Vice spiral all day.

It started with the mention of "The Heat Is On," devolved into "Sunset Grill," and dove even further into the abject blackness of "All She Wants to Do Is Dance." I don't know why Glenn Frey and Don Henley are forever associated with that whole Miami '85 vibe for me, but they are, forever and ever, the Miami Vice sountrack of my life. Considering the fact that '85 was "unfortunate" and "full of learning experiences," there is no way to make a positive association here. I will always associate "You Belong to the City" with familial tension (ha!) and living that particular, hunted life of a 13-year-old with too tight clothes and black-lined eyes who just does not know any better (or have fucking cash to buy fucking clothes that fucking fit). See? Spiral. Ooo, shiny.

I am trying to unlearn what I have learned ('sup little man) but the dark side is strong within me. I am sure that someday I will look back at 1985 with something other than bitterness. Someday, we will all just laugh and laugh. Because we're high. On drugs.

It gives me comfort to know that someone, somewhere, shares this dark planet where speedboats, white pants, feathered hair, and pastels will always bleed into night and nothing about that contrived world brings comfort, or breezy sentimentality, or wistful longing for the past. Fuck the past and it's fucking mama, too.

Or, perhaps I am spiraling because of that homeless woman on 23rd and Broadway who completely terrifies me because I can imagine her Before. When all she wanted to do is dance...and drink rum. She still does one.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

That's My Man

"I'm a rage-a-holic. I'm addicted to rage-a-hol!"

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Bok Bok

In a world of pain and sorrow, sometimes there is light. Adairdevil found this, and now I pass it on to you:


This wee piece of paradise is "[a]vailable in five stunning colors you can make a statement in red, be pretty in pink, serene in blue, striking in orange or keep it subtle with an eglu in green." Inside it, you can keep 2-4 LIVE chickens, and better yet: "With her beautiful russet red feathers, inquisitive nature and reliable egg laying, the Gingernut Ranger is the perfect pet." Gingernut Ranger, people.

And what about Fido and Fluffy? "You don't need to worry about the chickens being attacked, they can generally hold their own - a small peck on the nose normally does the trick." This may effect snuggle-time, however.

Since they are all girlie-chickens, "[t]he only noise you will hear is a gentle clucking as your chickens' search for worms and a satisfying cluck as an egg is laid." Satisfying...cluck. Bok.

It is nice to know that I am not alone in my affliction.

I wonder if the Eglu will fit in my apartment?

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Holy Sonnet XIV: Batter My Heart, Three-Personed God

Batter my heart, three-personed God; for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o’erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurped town, to another due,
Labor to admit you, but O, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
but is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betrothed unto your enemy.
Divorce me, untie or break that knot again;
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor even chaste, except you ravish me

--John Donne

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

'Ware the Biting Hellbitch

Feeling a little moody today. Keep a safe distance. Mind your fingers.