Friday, June 29, 2007

Shiny Shiny Robots

I live and breathe to see the new Transformers movie. It is true. No, I do not care about Michael Bay and his apparent suckitude. No, I do not care that it might not live up to the fanboy standards. I like me some robots. Bring on the robots!

Ever since that freakshow C3PO went tippy-toeing, bitching and moaning, across the Tattoine desert, I've loved Sci Fi and almost any trash the movie business makes of it. Do I have standards? Few. Am I easily bewitched? Obviously. Do I care? Nyet. And you can suck it.

The ads for the Transformers are fantastic and very promising. I hold on to hope. Also, that fine young man is in it. How could it go wrong. And, contrary to loud harping from a particular, she-who-shall-remain-nameless colleague, it is not pervy to find Shia LeBouf attractive and charming. He's 21 for Jesus' sake. And Jesus says it is okay. So, calm down, little kitten. He's a dish! Being chased by robots! Shiny!

By the way, I like some of Michael Bay's fact, I really-really like several. The Rock, Armageddon, even The Island...what's the problem, people? I mean, its not some yawny snoozebutton snorefest with subtitles about a clown in white holding a red ball for 3 hours, but in a pinch, you might be vaguely entertained, right? Gosh.

Have some faith, see the Transformers, and know that a shiny robot will save any movie every time.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

I Cannot Stop

Singing this song.

What does it mean, Jesus? What does it mean?

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Don't Stop Believin,' Street Light People

Yes, Journey, it is true that you are awesome.

This Truth has been respected by multitudes--mainly me--for many a year now. You are, after all, one third of the Holy Trinity of Rock.

So, while others congratulate you and you pretend to be shocked and amazed at all this new exposure, it was certainly no surprise to me that The Sopranos chose one of your very best songs to wrap up the entire series.

Well, duh. "Don't Stop Believin'" is a fine hymn for those who choose to rock. Classic Rawk.

So, Journey, go ahead and play like you have no idea that you are Amazing and Eternally Shiny. We like it when you're shy and coy. But know now if you never did that you are Awesome . . . awesome blossom. God Speed. And don't stop believin.'

Oh, and here is my take on the controversial cut to blackness that ended the episode and series: The suspicious-looking guy came out of the bathroom and shot Tony in the head. This is why everything went black and silent. When the Journey stops, the brain is obviously dead. This isn't rocket science, kiddies.

Monday, June 11, 2007


No pox, but some kind of monkey venom is jacking me up. The Internet says you can get monkeypox from prairie dogs and prairie dogs live in Kansas. And the Internet always tells the truth.

I have been sick for two weeks now. Is it karma? Or was I just due? It hardly seems fair. The universe should reward me daily for quitting smoking. Instead I get monkeypox and hack up six quarts of phlegm.

That's a conservative estimate.

It could be the bubonic plague. Except my lymph nodes are perfectly fine. I just have itchy lungs. And lots and lots and lots of mucus membranes. Mouth kisses to the first person with an accurate diagnosis. Open forum: Discuss!

Friday, June 08, 2007

Sedgwick County CHICKENS

Back from Wichita--and a fine case of the Snotrocket Express courtesy of a last minute, nice-to-meet-ya-and-to-beat-ya, killer of the flu--and happy to report that chickens do roam the range, strutting and be-gocking their fierce little hearts out. We saw these gems at the zoo...

Isn't he grand??

Fluffy Asian chickens...

And, for good measure, one work of the devil. See the square pupil? She is protecting her baby (still with his umbilical cord tied off) and praising Satan, too. All in a day's work!