The Stuebenville Rape

I've been watching the coverage of the Steubenville rape and it's taken me some days to settle into my thoughts on the situation. It was a story that has probably played out thousands of times in my lifetime, almost entirely without consequences. Teens will be teens, and if you get drunk, well, whatever happens, happens. That's pretty much been the status quo since I can remember. In this day where everything is documented, suddenly we are fully AWARE. Or are we?

The greatest outrage in the latter part of this story is the media's skewed sympathies toward these poor boys, whose lives are now ruined by conviction, and how their future's are tarnished at best. There's been a lot of enraged screaming about RAPE IS RAPE and how dare those fuckstick idiots in the media sympathize with those boys? All I can think is, really? NOW you are upset, now you are calling for their heads?

I am sorry, but where the fuck were you when I was getting sexually assaulted daily in the halls of my junior high? I had boys come up to me and grab my tits, both surreptitiously, and, in one memorable incident, in front of an entire hallway of kids. They said disgusting things about me, behind my back and in my face. I had greasy lips pressed against my ear saying the most vile, aggressive, terrifying things. Multiple boys grabbed my ass and one boy actually came up behind me at my locker and jammed his finger directly in my crotch. He did it so hard that it was not just in my crotch but up it. Boys will indeed be boys.

Later in high school when I complained of my junior high experiences to my new, college-bound, seemingly enlightened male friends, this is the answer I got: It happened to everybody. All the time. Get over it.

That happened in the 80s. That happened to me and happened of thousands upon thousands of girls since, I am sure. Teenaged boys are hormonal, y'all. They don't understand. They don't know any better. Boys will be boys.

So it is with cold, bitter resignation that I watched the coverage of the media's sympathy for the boys. Because that's how it's always been...boys will be boys. They are only boys, don't you understand? They didn't know any better...they didn't mean to do that...how could they have known that treating a girl like less than a dog would lead to such (inconsequential...a few years in juvie??) consequences?

At the same time, I have to ask: Where was all of this outrage when this shit was so "commonplace" back when I was a kid? Why didn't my teachers protect me? Why didn't my guidance counselors do something? Because I reached out. I tried. As it was told to me, it is better to go along to get along. Boys will be boys. And, later, my enlightened older friends assured me, It's just what happens. What can you do?

I am glad that people are finally understanding that sexual assault and rape of minors by minors might actually be a concern. At the same time, I have to tell you: Don't be surprised when the town, the parents, and the media wring their hands over the fates of said assaulters and rapists. After all, they are only boys.

Boys will be boys!

Rape is hilarious!