Lovevomit

I don't revisit my YouTube site often because it rakes up all these heinous memories. It seems my goal in life is to video all the memories meant only to hurt me. And SAVE them! For all eternity! Because every person should shoulder that kind of pain, ya? Because we're all damned, we're all just deserving of a cup's full of hurt.

I've forgotten what my job gave this man for free...wanna relive it? I just did, so why not you?

Part One

Part Two

Let's get one thing clear: Minus the hateful night of Izod con Jus, where I lost my FAVORITE Lacoste shirt to a spilt gravy mishap and underwent a night of soul killing judgement from the One and Truly in the City of Love, I would never take back a minute of the trip. What's amazing to consider is the fact that this ASSHOLE got a free trip to London on ME, and my COMPANY. I hope he remembers it fondly. No doubt, he remembers it as the period of his life when he invested SO MUCH in that smart girl who could be SO STUPID for a smart girl sometimes.

What is the waste of effort? Wishing guys like this didn't harbor such hate for anyone, everyone, and you. Because they do. What is this guy thinking most of the time? How you've disappointed him. Deeply. Fundamentally. Because no matter what you give, it is never enough.

What an amazing epiphany this is. If ONLY it could get through to me. Because this ghost still rides on my back, forever saying how stupid I can be for such...a...smart girl. Fucker.