Friday, August 13, 2010

Air Rage

I rarely have it. I have LOADS and LOADS of road rage to share with people, but I rarely have air rage. I think to deal with what used to make me weep uncontrollably I had to make a deal with my brain. It went something like this: Gooo to sleeeep, brain. Shhhh, shhhh, shhh. You are many millions of miles in the air and yet it doesn't maaaaaaatter. Something like that.

So, this dude, an air steward, had a total shit fit last week.

Here's the story of my feelings on the subject, in a bulleted, numbered list:

  1. The first I heard the story I thought, heh, funny. I think that's what MOST people thought. Because we saw it for what it was: A dude, in a job, lost his shit, said some swears, grabbed some beers, pulled a switch, rode a slide, rode off into the sunset to get it on with his boyfriend before getting arrested. The. End.
  2. I thought: People like it because we can all relate: Dude has job, he says FUCK IT for whatever reason, then pulls a major cowboy move, pulls a slide in a dramatic fashion, and rides off into infamy.
  3. Then I thought: Well, shit.
  4. Because the Media, in all their self-satisfied supremacy, will turn it into some Guy-is-Hero then Guy-is-Buttshit, just you watch.
  5. And they did. For the first two days, it was all fakey-fake exclamations about the "cult hero" who "struck a nerve." Mind you, I still beleive that the majority of folks just saw it as a Heh. Just a basic Cowboy Drama Move and certainly nothing so extravagant as "heroic."
  6. For the past several days the Media has lived up to my basic expectations: Put the Boy Wonder up on that Pedestal, then spend the rest of the time finger wagging and making hay about how shame, shame, shamity it all is. SHAME ON HIM. And the ever so honorable Powers That Be back it up with their official finger wagging: Pulling that slide COULD HAVE KILLED SOMEONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know what, Genius babies? So could I, with a Bic Pen. Or even a generic pen full of Chinese lead. But your smart asses aren't taking that away from me when I board the plane, are you?

My "Issue" with this present phenomenon? Let me explain:

  1. First, the Media are WHORES. Trust none of them. Their whole imperative is to FUCK YOU UP. They churn the blood, churn the blood, fling the chum: Why? Because it is about sales, my folks. They do not care about the truth, they care less about perspective. They just pump it hard to get their pennies worth. They will shill for your tears (look at the armless orphan without a face!), play your fears (Obama hates your middle class life and is working hard to burn your retirement shekels), and blind your ears with worthless, grubby, monotonous fear-based mongering that tells you that while no one else is, they are on your side, getting the story, making the difference, all in HD! Fuck them with a pair of scissors, sideways, upways, all ways. They haven't understood their purpose since they were granted the first amendment and summarily shat on it.
  2. Second, in the "effort" to "protect us" the powers that be have asked us to chuck our lighters and put all of our shampoos in Ziplock snackbags. YAY. Because the SHIV I call a PENCIL could certainly not do any kind of damage, ya? Was it not something as bland as a box cutter that lead to the 9/11 catastrophe? I appreciate the effort, I really do, and the more I travel the less I care about stupid shit like shampoo and lighters. I make do when I get there. It's more the PRETENSE. The bullshit facade, the GAME. Because only a drooling monkey would fall for that line of crap: That the "security measures" in place are really making us all safe. Lighters are EXPLOSIVE...but I guess also the source of fire, yeah? So every time I've flown with matches I guess that's just...harmless? And my lethal Bic pens and No. 2 pencils? I guess I could never really stab someone in the neck with a box cutter? My point? The powers that be are out of control with their bs rhetoric. And the powers that back them up ramp it up. Imagine it: A flight attendant pulls a slide and runs away. What do you do? Overreact, of course? Not because it is really dangerous? I am too cynical to believe you really care about THAT anymore. I think the powers that be yearn to take a Tough Stand. And this poor fool, who probably just lost his shit and would probably take it back if he could, is going to do hard time because SOMEONE or SOMEBODIES want to appear Tough on Terror. Yay for everyone.
  3. Third, he is NOT a hero. He's just a guy who lost his cool. I find it ironic that a culture that basks in the hideous red light of violence and corruption as entertainment would so easily turn on its newest Cult Hero. After all, don't we all cheer for Bruce Willis in all the Die Hards, Keanu Reeves in the Matrices, and all the many, many others who portrayed car chases, footraces, and other high octane violence ridden movie moments? I mean, all those innocent sillies who got smashed, crashed, shot, slapped, and generally kilt were all just...extras, right? It's weird, just weird, that we, as a society, might dig the idea of a guy blowing an explosive charge to activate a slide to freedom. That being a more tame version of the usual Stick It To The Man shit we usually worship.

So, my final thought? He fucked up, he was a good employee, he should be fired, he should get community service and probation, and he should be remembered, innocently, as the "guy who lost his shit and pulled the slide." Fin.


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