Saturday, July 10, 2010

Let's Stay Together, Baybay

You know how I feel about you, don't you?

Passive Aggressive Notes

My new favorite website. I would totally be on here if I had more guts. Because I’ve been tempted, oh so many times, to leave hate-notes in the infamous 3rd floor bathroom, inspired so thoroughly by the infamous “dirty, dirty bitches.” Anyone who thinks of women are inherently “delicate” should know that there are far too many of them with the bathroom habits of feral cats with diarrhea. Enjoy the visual…and contemplate, for one moment, the smell of “feral.” It’s what’s known around these parts as “Number 3.” Too horrific to describe. Isn’t “feral” enough?

Mel Gibson Is a Prick (Shock!!)

I can’t WAIT for the Oprah interview…especially the part where he explains that when he said “n****rs” he didn’t mean her. It should be awesome. If this isn’t him, then they’ve found an amazing voice impressionist.

Hot Nerdzzzzz

I happened upon Lopez Tonight last night and was digging on the fact that uber nerd Sharlto Copely from District 9 is actually FREAKING HOT AS HELL. Watch the clip, it is totally charming. I actually want to see this movie quite a bit, not because I loved the TV show (I did), but it looks like a whole lot of fantastical fun. I will end up Netflixing it, most likely, unless it is still in theaters in late July when I’m visiting home (whadayasay, Moms?).


People are making fun of this guy, but this video seriously makes me happy. Yes, I am laughing…but goddamn if this guy isn’t the most uplifted cat in Yosemite, yo? We all guess he might be on shrooms, sure, but imagine if this guy was feeling this shit straight up?? That means he is one spiritual motherclucker, and we should all be so lucky to be so everloving joyous. It’s a double rainbow all the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!

Work sux

If I seem unusually pissy lately, just give me a pass, man, will ya? Because I’ve had some nasty surprises at work—some of the worst I’ve had thus far—and you should really just cut me some slack. I will try not to take it out on you, Scooter, but I’m letting you know you should Stand Warned, because the epic Shit has hit the epic Fan, and I simply have no time to gently deal with your wee sweet feelings. M’kay?

I Loves You My Precious, Nom Nom Nom

This video has been on the intertubes forever, but I ran across it today (as is the way with YouTube, you just keep clicking the related videos until you are trembling, jobless, and weeping weeks later) and had to embed it here. Because this video is about Me and You. I am the goggie, you are the kitty. We love each other, and I seem so consistent and stable for so long, then bam, I’m snapping and growling like a foo and you are all taken aback and frozen in terror. But remembers! I still love you. I’m just…having a moment.

Finally, for Anyone Out There Considering Any Kind of Plastic Surgery or Treatment

This shit is marketed as an easy fix, no repercussions kind of treatment, so believe me when I tell you: It Is NOT. For scores, I’m sure it is just fine…but that is not true for everyone. If you think about it, you can imagine just how devastating this procedure could be. You could destroy your face.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you, sweetie. It's not plastic surgery, though. If it was then people wouldn't take it so lightly. They act like they're giving you a simple facial. Surprisingly, I think plastic surgery might actually be safer.

And I wanna see A-Team, too!

3:57 AM  
Blogger Adairdevil said...

I take offense on behalf of feral cats, who even without training will bury their waste as a matter of personal hygiene and safety from predators.

1:51 AM  
Blogger Shiny said...

You are SO right. They don't spray number 3 all over the stall and walk away.

11:03 PM  

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