Sell Me Something

I watch plenty of television. Not by choice. I walk into my apartment and it turns itself on. It whispers goooood morning daaaave even when it is nighttime then proceeds to pick all the channels. It growls when I pick up the remote. I am not Dave.

So I end up watching a lot of commercials. First, let me say this: They've gotten so much better over the years. Cable has also contributed to this improvement: More competition, more incentive to get off your lazy ass and make some Majix. I do miss local commercials, especially the misguided "creative" ones, and it's been an age since I've seen a Monster Truck Rally ad. I mean, how am I going to know what to do on Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY?!?

I've always had loves and hates and mostly mehhhhhs, my all-time favorite is probably that Sprite ad from the 90s. A perusal of my blog will tell you I have lots of blergs, mostly based on common sense rather than the quality of the commercial (see: seeing a child terrified into crying in a busy airport because he was all alone, not because his mom died of cancer, even though that's what they scared the crap out of him for). There are such things as best-worst commercials, one of which I saw when it was originally running in Chicago. I sat there, gape-mouthed, not believing that it actually happened. Over the years, it's aged like a fine wine...



Lately, my favorite commercial is this little gem, which is my humor to a T:



I'm also a fan of the Orbit cuss-out ad. What I am NOT a fan of is the following commercial, which upsets me on several different levels:



Bad, marketing people, BAD! I don't care if it was complicated to pull off. I don't care if it took talent. My first reaction was similar to Hyperbole and a Half's dog, NO HOORSE NO! Why?:

--It makes a creepy face. Creepy ass face. It reminds me too much of that Hobbit cartoon that I absolutely hated when I was a kid. NOHOORSENO.

--Look at the nose. Look at it. Look at the hands under the nose. Remember this is a family.

--There are children that come out of this pyramid face of horror. Where were the children?! Someone call social services.

It is creative. Creepy creative, but kudos to being memorable, terrible Toyota commercial!