Tuesday, December 19, 2006

About Toonces

This is why he was weird and wonderful.

  1. His affection always turned to biting. He loved to snuggle and purr and be petted as much as possible, but could not help himself from eventually chomping on whatever human flesh was available. Sometimes when rubbing his face on my leg as I stood in the kitchen "cooking" he would have to add a nip or two, just to show that he meant it.
  2. He could not resist his Master's voice. Thomas would peek around a corner and say "Toonces!" in this very authoritative voice. No matter what Toonces was doing, he would respond with a meow. Sometimes he was at full attention, rapt with the peekaboo game; other times he was busy grooming or staring at the wall (I believe he was trying with all his might to resist) but he would still meow his response, almost involuntarily.
  3. He pretended to hate the bunny belly game, but I have pictures to prove otherwise. Case in point, the picture at the top of the page. This was a common Toonces reaction to me entering the room. He knew I would try to rub his belly, thus making him "mad" so that he could play and bite. Anything that lead to chewing on my hand was a good thing.
  4. He was a ninja with purring issues. He would wait until he thought we were asleep, then he'd jump on the bed and walk between us. Sometimes he would just stand there, deciding whether it was safe (it wasn't), sometimes he would take a shortcut across us with a particularly heavy tread, especially when jabbed directly in the gut. When he slept on a pillow beside my head, he would purr and sniff my hair. Sometimes he would walk on my hair and step on my head.
  5. If you got him really riled up, he spat. I have no idea what this was, but it was fantastically weird. This was best brought about by the "There's Something Alien and Fast Under the Covers That Is Trying to Prod Toonces" game. It was a kind of Kih! sound. And if he got ahold of your alien hand under the covers you'd feel it, even through a bedspread.
  6. Toonces ate half a mouse once. He never told us why the top half was tastier.
  7. Toonces loved me. He even let me pick him up sometimes. Not with a happy face. More of a "For you, for a minute, but then I'm going to kick you in the eye. It's nature, honey."


Blogger Flushy McBucketpants said...

toonces sounds a lot like catsby, except for the affection, which she solely conveyed by licking my head at 6am. for catsby it was mostly about biting. i hear that this has changed since she moved into her new home and gained a kitty companion. now she just bites the other kitty.

5:58 PM  
Blogger Shiny said...

Toonces wanted to be sweet and snuggly, he just figured everyone was a cat and, thus, all snuggling eventually ended with biting and bunny kicks. I always imagined that Catsby was at war with your arse, but it was probably just her precarious beginnings, born on the streets in a tough Brooklyn neighborhood. As for the 6am grooming that you have mistaken for “affection”…aren’t all kitties hungry at 6am? Your sleeping head was just a round, meat-pop appetizer to whatever salmon-tuna-chicken gizzard breakfast that followed. Sorry, meat-pop.

9:54 AM  
Blogger Flushy McBucketpants said...

"Your sleeping head was just a round, meat-pop appetizer to whatever salmon-tuna-chicken gizzard breakfast that followed. Sorry, meat-pop."

you're a frickin' authorial genius.

4:49 AM  
Blogger Shiny said...

I do it for the children.

10:43 AM  
Blogger whirleegig said...

Now I completely understand. I'm sorry Poopsie!

3:34 AM  

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