Sunday, June 12, 2011


YAY YAY YAY Internet! What did we do before the Internet? We wallowed. We propped a chair against the door, put on Tusk, and smoked our parent's 1/15th smoked menthol cigarettes. Or, well, you did that, not ME, not ME. Don't tell my mom.

Anyway, after watching that god damned Inside Job I just need a sweet, sweet intake of '85 "Dog & Butterfly" 5:30 am roach smokin,' under the pool table utopia. You know. How you do.

This will heal you, too. First, a blorp.

SCREEEEEEEECH, right? OMG, when I saw this I went half crazy. I had flashbacks to lunch just this past Thursday when I finally vocalized what I'd been feeling so long to my friend, Editor McWorkypants (alias). For so long I've harbored such guilt about the cats. I had them for four months and I sent them back to the org.crazy that I adopted them from. Let me be clear and unapologetic: I love cats. I love animals. I am still allowed to express this freely. It took me far too long to get here.

After too many months (year +) of hating myself for failing these cats, I came to a series of conclusions:

  • I sent them back to the service after spending hundreds of dollars on adoption fees and medical care. I could have paid less as a "foster" if I'd known what I was really in for.
  • I have only ever known tamed cats, born and raised in human homes. Don't think it makes a difference? Wait till a mostly-feral cat sinks it's teeth into you and ask that question again.
  • The whole adoption ideology guilts guilty people into adopting cats without really understanding what a "street cat" is. My particular agency had a MySpace page of cute animal mug shots with tags like "murdered," "burned," hung." And when we were on site, the place stank of urine and hopelessness. Despite every instinct inside me screaming NO, I took two cats. I meant well.
  • Never adopt cats when you are emotionally vulnerable. Like, after a breakup. Duh.

I hated myself for too long, but i forgive myself completely now. I believe that my "foster" cats have more appropriate homes with people who can handle them. I no longer believe I have to write off having cats--or any animal--forever. I believed that for so long. Not anymore. Guilt is a poisonous, destructive thing.

Let me just say this: I wish I could get updates on Jack and Snugglebug. I loved them and wanted to be strong/different/holy enough to keep them. Unfortunately, that was never in the cards. As a warning to anyone planning to adopt "rescue cats" please know this: Your agency (major quote unquote) will likely hold the failure to follow through completely against you. That's their right. Too bad, but I understand zeal. It is, for the most part, what these animals need. I will just believe my former cats are OK. Knowing the org involved, I can believe it.

Without further ado, more sugary sweet animals.

Because this is about happiness, I include other things, awesome things, things that will make this more devilhornsawesome. Did you KNOW Journey was on tour with two alternates to the Holy Trinity (Journey, Styx, REO)?? I saw the poster for it when I was out this week and nearly peed. For nonbelievers and other heretics, just know this: Foreigner was a very successful band. They had many number one hits and roller rink moments of majesty. And Night Ranger? Most under appreciated band of the 80s in my book. "Four in the Morning"? Perfection. And Journey? Don't even question. They are, above and beyond, transcendent.

Finally, signing out with one of the greatest songs of all time. It makes me lose my mind every time. This will heal all financial wounds...or not. Still cool tho.


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