Hello, Grossface

Why do I eavesdrop on other people's conversations? Especially cheezwhiz-glazed douchebros on the streets of my hood which, I might add, stank suspiciously of fish tonight...not just fish, but FEESH, major chumstank, and the whole neighborhood, my brethren. I was running errands, just trying to be a responsible citizen, when I passed by one bro showing another bro a picture of a "hot piece" on his iPhone. Amidst the OHH!s and other exclamations of gruntery, the one bro told the other bro, "Bro! I hit that hard, bro. She's hot, right? Right? Bro? Aww yeah. She was worth the $500 an hour, bro. I mean, I can't hit it like that all the time--she's too freaky for me, bro--I mean, I'm like 32. I'm too old for that scene, bro. You knowwwwww? But she's all class, she's got a place in Hoboken, bro, $500 an hour, bro." Something to that affect.

$500 a freaky hour, bro, you know? So I bought some wine and ran all the way home.