Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Shiny Shined

I love getting my hair done. It requires a certain amount of patience since my hairdresser cajoles and harasses me for only coming in twice a year. I asked him to rate the health of my hair this time around and he gave me a 6.5. Rude! He's not even talking about the actual health. For that, he should have given me a solid 2. He's on my case about not coming in for hair cuttings and stylings. That's all. Grifter! My gray hair totally hides the fact that I'm not that blond, so he's just bitter about the cash monies I'm not sending his way. That's all right, though. I mean, look at the shiny:

Note that I've only shown bits and pieces. The identity of the innocent shall forever be protected.

Things I Hate Right Now

Tiger Woods Coverage. Look. I get it. His promotional persona doesn't match his horndoggity reality. And yet I can't muster the strength to give a flip. Please explain. NO, don't remind me of his iconic, pure status. Because last I checked he's a jock. Not to dismiss jocks out of hand, but, well, OK, maybe I'm dismissing the general "purity" of the aforementioned jocks. The whole world really bought into the whole Tiger Woods Is Not Just a Golfer but a God ridiculousness? Really? Because I hate to tell you this but...he's a golfer. A GOLF. ER. In case you are wondering, that's no more and no less than a simple jock. And, at best, an exceptional jock. Yay for him, yay yay yay for all the athletic superiority, but honestly, you don't know him. Only people who really know him, know him. And, whilst some of them are learning that probably wasn't the "great, stand up guy" they thought he was, the rest of us are just spectators at his wildly borrrrring golf match. It sucks that he's likely a cheater, but I fail to understand how this is worthy of the media coverage that has resulted from the equally borrrrring Thanksgiving wreck that started this whole mess. To be clear: Who gives a flying squirrel? I don't. I think no better nor worse of him. He's just as boring as he was before. Just more annoyingly visible.

Snowstorms When I Plan To Fly. Maaaaaaaaaaan. I'm so worried right now. They say the major dumpage will happen overnight, ending only a couple of hours before my flight is supposed to take off. I haven't really had to deal with this before, so I guess this was inevitable. I hate air travel anyway, so I guess I'm just going to have to take deep breaths and think of a happy place. The flying itself is calming/boring -- it's always the airport part of it that makes me rage and snarl. If I just believe it's going to be horrible, then nothing will surprise me tomorrow.

Things That I Love Right Now

Just saw the Lost promo. It promised little, forecasted everything. This is the end! How am I going to watch every season by February 2??? Ug.

Re-reading The Lovely Bones on the train, because nothing else I've read has garnered so much unsolicited interaction. Mostly from women...they just stare at the cover and smile or nod, one even pulled my sleeve and told me how much she loved the book. Another passed by and said "great book." It is a great book. This time around, I'm appreciating it on a different level (the first time I was an emotional wreck) because it is an ode to all of the little girls lost. As much as anyone feels a pang of horror when we hear of these events on the news, these murdered children are never real to anyone but those that actually knew them. The Lovely Bones, while fictional, brings one of these children to life, so to speak, and in making her real it's impossible to ignore how real, valuable, and treasured all of those real children were and are to their families.

The flip side of reading The Lovely Bones, especially on the train? Every guy looks like Mr. Harvey. I can't even tell you how many times I looked up to see some Sketchy Sketcherstein looking at me, the book, or both of us guiltily, crossly, fearfully, or all of the above. It's more likely, of course, that it just triggers my overdeveloped sense of mistrust. I'll I can say is: Back off, chum. I will seriously shank you with my bookmark.

JERSEY SHORE!!!!!!!!! Look, I love it. I love it so much. I love Snooky, I love The Situation, I love the whole, crispy-haired cast. I even kind of love Jwwow though just looking at her is probably giving me the eye herps. I'm not interested in fighting about the terms "guido/guidette" nor am I interested in debating the airing/non-airing of "the punch." I'm just loving the rich Italian sub-set culture and the brilliance of the producers who share the very best stuff and introduce as many layers and nuance as a show like this could hope to expect. I love that the inclusion of a cast member calling himself The Situation has led to everything being referred to as some sort of "situation" or another. I mean, it's all a Situation. I love the wildly inappropriate, delusional, spastic, hysterical dance moves, not to mention the equally inappropriate, delusional, spastic, hysterical moves the cast members have made on each other and an ever changing rotation of Jersey shore singles looking to mingle. If your hate for the show, or just the idea of the show, makes you want to hurl, or hurl an object in the general direction of Jersey, you should at least consider the fact that this Situation would have existed with or without Mtv's cameras filming it all. Yes, the cast was brought together by Mtv, but they would have gone anyway and probably would have gotten themselves into similar situations and configurations regardless. Unlike The Real World, the house is not some tricked out pleasure dome, and the pretense was never to have seven strangers come together to find out what its like to live together blah blah blah, growth, maturity, hard knocked life yadda yadda, etc. There is no pretense with the Jersey shore. That is, at least how I see it, the situation.


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