Monday, March 03, 2008

i can has weight gain?

. . . oh FINE, I will attempt to be thrilled with making my one year anniversary. And I am very impressed with myself, for sure, albeit not so much H-A-P-P-Y. But Festivus is past, so I shall shelve my List of Grievances for the time being. Perhaps it will just take me longer than one year to get past all of the by-products of quitting smoking.

Granted, I have to admit to an addicted soul. No restraint, no fear, little remorse. Part of my aversion to trying gambling is the possibility of addiction . . . and because I am no sucka. Suckas.

I suppose I celebrated the only way I really could, though it wasn't much different than what I usually do, which is to do what I want, when I want, how I want. I didn't plant my face in a cake, though I dreamt of it. Repeatedly. I also dreamt of smoking, and that was pretty fine, too, I have to admit. Most of my smoking dreams involve me lighting up and having a few drags before remembering that I am not supposed to, freaking out, and feeling serious remorse. This time, however, I sought them out and lit one up with spiteful relish. I don't know who I think I am defying here, except myself, that smartmouthed, know-it-all hooker who should shut up, okay, for once.

Sigh.

I will mark the date in another year's time. Maybe then I'll be truly and really cured. Until then, I still ain't smoking, no cheating, neither, so kiss my toe ring.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations Lovey!!! I'm proud of you. Glad you didn't put your face in a cake tho'. It takes a while but eventually I got to where the thought of smoking makes me ill and I get all these unbidden nasty images strolling thru my brain. If you just stay off the couch and be active you can avoid weight gain. If I spend too much time in my chair my butt hurts so I have additional motivation. Now if I could just get my mind to accept no sugar I would be very happy. Course I have to go thru withdrawal to get there and that's a bitch. I have such a jones for hot fudge, with frozen yogurt or just by the spoon. Talk about addiction. So you see don't you, I'm very sympathetic to your plight. Your loving Mummy.

9:17 AM  
Blogger Flushy McBucketpants said...

high five!

¬°beignets!

2:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy shit! You realize this means I actually quit exactly one year after you. Because my very first whole day with no cigarettes was Monday. I had nooooo idea. OMG!OMG!

I think this bodes well for both of us. It must be a good quit day for the family.

And mom needs to get hooked on a sugar substitute. She does know they have those, right?

1:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK Liesl. Find me a hot fudge made with splenda or something that tastes right and I will reform. I promise. It's not an easy task I assure you. You and Erin dream about cigarettes and I dream about hot fudge. Oh, by the way, I read your blog and know you don't want to be congratulated for quitting so I won't. Love Ya BOTH! Mom

9:06 AM  
Blogger Shiny said...

My Lieslette, it must be fate that you felt compelled to kick the habit now. If I could make it a year, I know you can. It will be damn hard, especially since they still allow smoking in bars and restaurants there, but you have to try. GO GO GO!

Splenda isn't so bad, maw. I think you can even cook with it. You just have to stay away from all of the processed foods, which is harder than you might think in today's over processed, fully chemical world. Wow, everybody's kicking something! What shall I kick?

5:21 PM  

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