Monday, August 14, 2006

The Ultimate Fighter: Git It ON!

This weekend I discovered that I may, in fact, be a 13-year-old country boy as I experienced the almost indescribable delights of Spike TV's UFC show, The Ultimate Fighter 3. There was a marathon on Saturday, which snagged me at about 10:45 a.m. and continued throughout the day, until I had to leave it at around 8 p.m. I know what you are thinking: Why were you in your house all day, you xenophobic LOSER? Well, I have an answer to that--I thought about it long and hard, did some soul searching, and finally managed to come up with something eloquent and to the point: Kiss my ass, bitches. Yeah, and I'll go to the museum next weekend.

Besides, I mentioned the Ultimate Fighter 3 marathon, did I not?

Actually, this only proves that I am a middle-aged, vapid slut, as the UFC is basically well-stocked with "my type" of man: a wall of meat with teeth. Yay!

The competitors all live in a house together and train in two teams: Team Shamrock and Team Ortiz. The men fight by weight class and fill the space with a lot of smack talk that most can't back up. Many have tattoos everywhere--even on the face, which sometimes helps--and all (but one) are graced with meaty, muscle-y goodness. It is truly inspiring television.

I got sucked in by the monumental smack talk of one particularly good-looking feller who had all of the essential components plus One: wall of meat with teeth and a British accent. Unfortunately, he turned out to be all air (British air, though, which is *hot*) and was taken down not once, but twice, in easy fashion. And he cried both times. Which means he is a.) a giant, pink (but British) bunny, and b.) for display only (sad!).

I would be lying (and I never lie) if I said there was any real value to this show. There is blood (check!), sweaty muscles (check!), and a lot of strutting about and peeing on one another's head gear (double check!)--all of which showcase that boys will be boys, beefcake sells, and losers tend to be crybabies. Which is all awesome. The new season starts soon, ladies. GIT IT ON!!!

1 Comments:

Blogger whirleegig said...

I have a thirteen year-old country boy who likes that show.

1:34 AM  

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