Saturday, October 23, 2010


First, where is my VHS tape of The Lion King? Do you know? Because I do not. I went to watch it and BLANK, no tape. So it's Gone with the Wind. Eff Bombs extreme.

I've been mulling over my own shocking transformation. I have this hot ASS image of myself that seems to suggest I will ALWAYS be the hottest thing ever (see below) but in less than 10 years...well, I don't look like that anymore. And hey! I am NOT just talking about weight. That would be too easy. Instead, there is a definite, living decomposition. EFF YOU aging! I am sure it is more than that, but whatever. Here is the hotness:

Bummer. I was young once. I really was. Ask anybody. Now I am an old Crank, waiting to eviscerate any young fool who dares to call me MOM. P.S. My lack of children should tell you I am probably not your MOM, or ready to be called MOM, and may actually hunt down and bitchslap your MOM if you call me MOM. FYI.

I think of Booby Goren in these times of tiredness and trouble. He's gone through a transformation, too. BUT, I have to say this with no reservation: I would give him long, hot footrubs in 2001 or 2010. Because his sensitive snubby nose, gangly tall bod, and overall testosterone injected reality will always--ALWAYS--earn him a well-deserved throne of Hotness to which many, many women will willingly bow and obey. Bobby! Thank your lucky stars. The common man/woman just deteriorates and decomposes. They wish they had the sweet coin of Sex Bomb Currency to cash in during the twilight of their waning attractive years.



(P.S. Don't cry. Everyone gets old. Not everyone has the opportunity, so think of them and say a little prayer. This caterwauling is slovenly earned, not justifiable, and completely drowned in narcissistic stupidity. This is my earned heritage...I am wearing glasses while I write this, so you know it must be true.)


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