Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Keep the Terror Alive

I am planning a visit home to my beloved Wichita, Kansas. Since I am bringing the boyfriend, I've been searching for fun activities that will keep him busy and reacquaint me to my memories of olde.

I've got a nice list going so far (the zoo, bowling, a bar that promises a non-smoking area but we will see about that) and I was really hoping beyond hope that the Joyland Amusement Park would be open again. It has been shut down due to financial reasons (I think) plus many of the rides need work as they are from the olden times (1949!). It looks like it is still closed, indefinitely, and this is truly a sad thing to behold.

I was happy to see that there is a Wikipedia entry for it. Check it out, for it is a very cool old park and the roller coaster is truly terrifying. Many will claim that it not only creaks and moans, but you can feel it sway as the car clinks up that first lift hill. It has been years since I've been on it, but I can recall that it was very scary and awesome.

The park also has a freaky Wacky Shack that is sufficiently weird and unsettling and far better than most haunted house/house of horrors rides out there...and that's including the big, shiny parks. The park as a whole has a supremely freaky feel to it, with its rickety rides and old greenery, but the one thing that tops everything else is a singularly terrifying sight that greets you as you stroll about, wondering where the hell that organ music is coming from. As you approach it, the organ music booms louder and louder, and when you first see it, you have to rub your eyes. Is that a miniature person playing it?

No. Not a person. A clown. A mechanical clown. And apparently this little freak has a name. Read the Wikipedia entry for more details.

If you never have had the paralyzing pleasure of experiencing it, let me inform you: It is terrifying. Especially to children. You see, it moves...it "plays" the organ with its wicked little fingers. If I remember correctly, the head moves back and forth. To organ music. You could seriously pee your pants.

I love Joyland. Wichita, get it together. Keep the Terror Alive. That can be your rally cry. My gift to you. Let all the little children know the fear and remember Wichita always as it should be: that spooky ass town with that freaky clown, man.

See him play?

He's looking at you. He's remembering you. He's going to visit you in your sleep.

Bye bye! Come back soon...children.


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