Thursday, April 26, 2007

Chickens of Kauai

On my honeymoon (o fate, cruel fate, yon memory doth haunt me so), I guess our honeymoon, we visited the lovely island of Kauai. This is one of the Hawaiian islands where they are currently shooting Lost, one of my favorite programs no matter what people say. (Ed: Calm down, you manic monkeys with your short attention spans and lack of imagination. It is a story. Let them tell it.) It is also where I spent some time bonding with roosters for the first time, ever.

Side Note #1: Yes, it is surely is funny that I bonded with cocks on my honeymoon. Ha ha, very funny. Shut up.
Side Note #2: This entry will be riddled with asides as I am a wee bit drugged and therefore incapable of following a linear somethingorother.
Side Note #3: I like chickens. I mentioned that.

We went to this "famous" burger stand out in the middle of nowhere called Ono Char Burgers (see picture, resplendent with chickens).

Side Note # 4: Technically, most of Kauai is "out in the middle of nowhere" -- the biggest town is not all that big, although it does have a Barnes and Noble which I hear is the first rule of cityhood. It is nice that it has that spread out feel -- very rural, city, rural, city. And you drive with the top down because, hey, it's frickin' heaven.
Side Note #5: I love charred meat. Carbon is both cancerous and tasty.

We got our burgers and fries and took a seat at a picnic table just next to the stand...and smack dab in the middle of a gaggle of chickens. Herd of chickens? (One moment, checking internet.) FLOCK of chickens. Duh. Anyway, as we ate, the roosters began closing in. You know how they have that weird little sideways strut. And they're always giving you the stink eye, with their little heads nodding back and forth so that they can look at you with one eye and then look at you with the other. This little booger (pictured below) got up on the table and challenged me to a stare down. His eyes said, "Give me a fry." So I gave him a fry.

It was awesome.

Side note #&/: Roosters, while very small, are nonetheless quite intimidating. Watch Jurassic Park again. If you put a cockscomb on a velociraptor you would never be able to tell the two apart in a line up.
Side note 8: How cool would that line up be?

Our Ono char burger experience probably solidified my adoration of all things chicken. I did not try to give him a cuddle, by the way. Chickens must be surprised into keesses and snuggles, and it usually ends in tears and band aids. Love!


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