Wednesday, April 11, 2007

The Secret

Who is this bitch and what is his secret?

What are the odds that I could make a meeellion dollars selling my theories on the key to having a great life? I already have some -isms.

Think happy, be happy.
Dream big, love bigger.
Chew with your mouth closed you fucking chum bucket.
Find the good in the good for the good is just and justice is for all save none.
You are just a day away from excellence.
Touch it. Go ahead, touch it.
Rewarding yourself is the greatest reward.
Stop, drop, and rock and roll.
Your inner strength fills the world with esteem.
Bind your heart to good works and good works will truly uplift you to a higher floor.
God is good, Satan likes to party.
If you build it, He will break it.
Come on, kiss the gun.
The heart of a kitten is pure. Keep one with you always.
I like gum.
In goodness there is light and in the light of the love of the world you shall find peace.
Be nice and the world smells gooder.
Be good and the world smiles upon you.

What else? I only stole one of those (thank you, Appollonia 6) and the rest were a *snap* -- bring on the moneytrain, suckas!


Blogger Adairdevil said...

I have to take a moment to give a shout to my brother Devin, aka Positivi-D, who once passed along an email forward with treacly sayings like these--it even included the "dance like nobody's watching' drivel--but took care to append the following to the list:

"Bite me.
Go to hell.
It's hopeless.
It's not as bad as it seems, it's worse - comically worse."

It was awesome.

10:52 PM  

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