Wednesday, November 16, 2011

F*ck It, We Gettin Outta This Joint

New favorite thing via Dlisted, a site only some can deal with because it is completely without shame. Whenever I judge myself for not being my true, evil self via the Internet or life, I look to Dlisted and laugh. Because A.) He's mean but he's funny and B.) he's just being truthful, y'all. Even if you didn't say it, you know you thought it about...all the things!

So this is the Hot Slut of the Day....

This is a deserving Hot Slut, let me tell you. Who hasn't muttered the same thing:

  • In a meeting
  • On a subway
  • At a birthday party
  • In an incubator
  • Ina club
  • At the Family Thanksgiving Dinner
  • Ina relationship
  • To Yo Mama

Kidding about the last one. Shall you slap yourself silly for even thinking it. Go ahead, ima wait. Slap yourself.

In unrelated related news, I had completely HORRIBLE dreams last night. One in particular was completely mundane. It was just life, at my apartment, doing dishes and cleaning house...yet at some point it seemed I had a flashback revelation. A really, really JACKED UP revelation. I remembered murdering someone.

Now, let's set this scene: It was total normal life, full of dull moments of nothingness: No one was chasing me, there were no bullets flying nor vampires swooping in to bite my face. It was daylight and boring. Yet I remembered killing a guy a few years ago in California. I chose him at random and shot him in a supermarket parking lot. Then I started to remember that I'd actually killed three to five men, all in the same way. And, as I remembered it, I remembered that I did it because I wanted to know what it felt like to kill someone. Apparently three to five times.

What was insane was the fact that I'm thinking about this and feeling sick to my stomach, not believing that I did such a thing, yet knowing for a fact that I did. I was torturing myself over whether or not to turn myself in (I done kilt someone!) but then peevishly whining that I DIDN'T MEAN IT and waaaaah can't I just feel real sorry about it and move on? It even got to the point of wondering if the families of the dead would never stop until they found me. It was very, very real.


The Internet dream definers say this (via "Dream Moods Dictionary"): "To dream that you have committed a murder indicates that you are putting an end to an old habit and a former way of thinking. This could also refer to an end to an addiction. Alternatively, the dream indicates that you have some repressed aggression or rage at yourself or at someone. Note also that dreams of murder occur frequently during periods of depression."

Well, thank God it didn't say, Bitch, you crazay.

The most horrible part of the dream? In the first few moments of waking up, lurching to the alarm clock, asking myself, WAIT, did I? Did I? When was a last in California?? There were solid, too-long moments when I doubted everything I have ever known about myself. I did think it might have happened. Now, what the HELL does that mean, Dream Moods Dictionary??

F*ck it, we gettin outta this joint.

Whoa, is that me?

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