Thursday, January 08, 2009

Kittens! Have a Weakness...and I Have Found It

I still no like you.

It is called Fancy Feast Chicken in Gravy and it buys love...or at least momentary tolerance and abandonment of fear. Yes! I hadn't seen the little boy eat since he'd been with me, so last night, on the way home, I decided to score some high grade chum and to see if that would do the trick. I have learned three fantastic facts:

1. Jack (he's Jack to me now -- sorry to those who were enamoured with "dude" -- but this morning it occurred to me exactly what he reminds me of when he's giving me the crazy eye: Jack O'Lantern. That's right. And he is.) is an unrepentant PIG. He tucks into his food with fervor and rude smacking noises.
2. He still doesn't trust me one bit (and shouldn't since I am taking him to the vet tomorrow, poor thing) but is getting much bolder because he now understands that I am the Magical Bringer of Fancy Feast Chicken in Gravy. He tolerates my presence even as I am cleaning and sweeping when he used to cry at the first sight of me and actually peed when I picked him up. Progress! We'll see how this develops.
3. Cats and human children (especially siblings) have many things in common, including an in-born greed for whatever the other has. I gave them both the same thing but little SnuggleBug would not stop trying to sneak in on Jack's dish. He had it, therefore it must have been better.

(McBucketpants, that's a great idea, but I do not have a vacuum cleaner. Maybe I could get one of those hand held dealies? Or how about a hair dryer? I seem to recall seeing a cat walk the wall in response to the horror of a running hair dryer.)

Does it mean love when you have your twee kitten by the scruff for the sole purpose of picking her little nose? Bug has a snotty, crusty nose, but I cleaned it for her tonight. She was so appreciative that she sneezed right in my ear. Love Bug.

I kill it with my fang!

Oh, and just to prove that I haven't fallen completely off the edge of the planet, though clouds of candy-colored rainbows, then mists of urines and poos, and hailstorms of cat litter, into Kitten Planet, where the mews are plenty and the biscuits are never done kneading...something totally unrelated delighted me to NO END today as I was trying to find a good word to describe elbowing someone in the neck. (It was for an email where I was describing how I feel about SoHo.) I looked up "professional wrestling attacks" and Wikipedia gave me this most wonderful page. Just read the contents. It's all you really need to feel better again. Stinkface!



Anonymous Anonymous said...

You clean kitten poo and crusty kitten noses but a toddler eating is disgusting?

Yeah, a toddler eating IS disgusting.

I think my new niece and nephew are darling and know they will just LOVE me when I come to visit.

I will come bearing Fancy Feast.

And with that, I bid you ABOOM!
Love from the Ingruel

11:50 PM  

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