Monday, August 11, 2008

Day One, Jesus Wept

Dearest Heart O Darkness:

It is hard to believe that you have taken an entire vacation day. How is it allowed, anyway? How will the heart go on?

You're already behind by 47 games in Word Twist. Prepare for complete annihilation. By Adairdevil, not me, girl. Miracles happen, but not for WordTwist powers. Maybe a stray kryptonite will hurtle from the sky and pelt me in the temple and then I'll die or get superextra smart. And Word Twist shame you allll.

My day today involved many worky work things. I stayed 1 hour late to make up for my excursion uptown to see the Doc. She's growing on me. Oh, and she has a CAT. It is an Abyssinian.

It looks like this. It's not really an IT so much as a SHE and her name is Natasha. She greeted me at the door and was quite a talker. Very Siamese-like in that way. She was none too pleased to be sequestered away from our session. She seemed like she might have some insights into my crazy.

You'll be pleased to know that it dumped rain repeatedly today. My legs and shoes were soaking. I bought my 27th $4 umbrella from Chillo (CHEE-low) and clutched my suede Coach bag to my bosom as I slogged through the downpour.

Speaking of my bosom: My cleavage was Michael Kors INSANE today. I bought this new blouse on Friday and wore it for the first time today. I couldn't stop checking myself out. Please, Jesus, I hope none of the little ones were mortified by a generous glimpse. God, they would die. Then I would die. Nice shirt, though. Nice rack, too. I mean, c'mon.

No sharking today. Hmmm, I wonder whhhhhy. It was abysmally silent. On such a dark and rainy day, I half expected to see you in your office, in the dark, playing your little music box, and grinning like a mad fool. Perhaps in the glimmering glow of the Eagle of Glory statue/mood light on your desk. Sigh.

I've decided to "act out" to teach you that you can't leave ever for vacation or illness or 5 minutes. Upon your return, I bid you good luck at finding the warm, whole carp I've hidden in your office.



PS: MUM, I think (hope!) that "Fred" is my AmyFred from back in highschool. You remember her, right? My Fred!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

i don't think y'all can read my comments, since i am the last person usually to take her turn, but i hate hate hate word twist. i am bad at it, i suck at it, my mouse sucks which makes the whole thing suck on a scale that has yet to be measured by scientists. and no, twisting doesn't help. and no, playing many many games doesn't hone my non-existent skills. because in the end, if i played a hundred games and multiplied that by my skill level, well, doesn't anything times zero equal zero?

that said, i love you bitches.

2:11 PM  
Blogger Shiny said...

I guess the only difference between you and me is that I think it hurts so good. You see I've lost like 250 games, right? And won something like 20? It hurts my brain but I liiiiikes it.

We love you, too, girl. And miss you like wildfire. Oo, remember that song?

8:54 PM  

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