7th Sign

Remember that movie with Demi Moore????? OMG OMG. Remember the signs? It's soooo 80s now. Or Revelation-from-yesterdays what-EV-er. There are new signs.

New Sign? My sympathy for housewives of Beverly Hills. My sympathy...and those of many like me who witnessed last night's Shit Show of Housewives of Beverly Hills. What will become of us?

How did we get here? My sweet Jesus, how. Because there are people with real problems in this world. Yet, if you have too many spare moments to spend on tv times, I guess you might be a fan. I watch it, I admit it. I've watched a lot (not all) of the housewives shows spawned by Bravo. O Bravo, how far you've fallen. How far we all have fallen. Burning angel wings UNITE.

I have to admit that I love the Beverly Hills version of this series. There's Lisa, the Dynasty-like throw back from the 80s who totes could've co-starred on Lace and is probs BFFs with Jane Seymour with her hearts-ass collection. Love hearts! But there are other dominatrix hoes in this line up...for instance two trannies: One is passable, one is pushing it: the latter owns a basketball team and has the only husband who I would consider "H-U-M-A-N" but that hardly matters.

There are also two sisters. God help us all: Sisters. Worse yet: sisters related to Paris Hilton. Worstest yet? They both have sad, sad moments of glory when they were both childe stars...the blonde, egh. I never saw it. But the brunette? I do remember her bracing role as "annoying child" being watched by Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween. She didn't die. Of course not. She lived on to be a STAR of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. YES.

They are all total freakshow psychos, to one degree or another. The sisters Take the Cake. And the worst participant by far? Kelsey Grammer's last HO, She Who Will Not Be Named (Camille, there, I said it). First, because WHO CARES about her if Kelsey isn't here? Second, because she's the meanest mean girl you've ever met. WOW. Wow, wow, wow.

There's a whole lot that led up to the Dinner Party From Hell , but to burn it down to the simplest of cinders: Kyle allegedly said that no one would care if Camille Grammar was around unless Frasier Crane made the scene. Many fights as to whether or not this statement was made commenced. After watching the series to this point you would only have two thoughts: 1) Who WOULD care if Camille was around? and, 2) Why is Camille so insecure? It is sad to watch a normal human suffer so obviously on national TV. It is quite another to see someone so egotistically underserving suffer the same. We all know what happens to her even before it is all played out on Bravo. And after watching her desperate, vapid showboating, I guess we'd all feel sorry for...Frasier. Cheating, frumpety, cheating-ass Frasier. Wow. Wow.

So in previous episodes there is this whole tedious back and forth of "You said it" and "No I didn't" etc etc. then Camille decides to have a dinner party for "the girls" to bury the hatchet...so clearly right in Kyle's head. And if it wasn't curious before, the revelation that THE Allison DuBois of Medium fame would be attending would kind of suggest that Camille had a bitch slap up her sleeve. And while Kyle brought an OJ Ho, nothing could ever deflect attention from Camille's crazytown party guest, The Real Allison DuBois.

You just have to watch it to understand it.

What have we learned from this fuckerow? First, do NOT accept cocktail party invitations. Stupid hos! Second, reality is always worse than fantasy. THANK YOU, so much, really, Real Allison DuBois, for RUINING one of my favorite shows with the hideous, truly bankrupt reality of your existence. After your sick, petty statement that they will be sorry if one of their CHILDREN is missing because Real Allison DuBois won't help, all I can I just say: FUCK YOU evil bitch. Nice way to ruin so much for so many just by being your fake cigarette smoking hag self.

And thanks for making me feel sorry for Beverly Hills housewives. Only you could manage that. Nice job.