Friday, July 17, 2009

Hey We're Overdue for Another Randomass Post and You Have to Read It because You Loooove Me

Movies I Have Seen and Will Probably Never See

I just saw the original Dawn of the Dead for the first time. I was delighted by the fact that the parts of the people getting eaten looked a lot like the groom's cake at Shelby's wedding -- and even tho Ouisa said it looked like "an autopsy" in Steel Magnolias, I have to say that it was almost charming to see those retro gross out effects and their undeniable red velvet cake beginnings. Cute!

The great thing about DVDs is getting to see the old ads -- I remembered how terrified I was back when these ads aired. The Dawn of the Dead from my childhood--while it has some nice surprises and scares--can't compare to the Dawn of the Dead of recent in terms of terrors, night sweats, and general unease about humanity or lack thereof.

AND: I would like to wish all Harry Potter maniacs, groupies, and mental patients a happy weekend. I was waiting for the N train with one of my co-workers today when a friend (Ms. Sarahbearah to be exact) came up with a light in her eyes and a hop in her step and immediately enquired as to whether or not I'd seen the latest Harry Potter. I have room for only so many geekazoidal tendencies and, as my mother will tell you, I'm more of a sci fi nerd and less (to none) of a fantasy nerd, so my answer was no. But I respect the love, kittens, so enjoy.

Dirty Websites That Make Me Laugh Out Loud

It's called Texts from Last Night and DON'T GO THERE if you are sensitive about the dirty talk. Because there's loads (pun intended) and loads of it. Even if you don't think it's funny, it's certainly fun to see how the youngsters are shaping up. My fave so far?

(516): Are you with Adam and his vodka?
(1-516): Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued

It's gold, I tell ya.

Speaking Of

[Really funny video removed because Comedy Central can't manage to embed without jacking my computer. Thanks, Assholes.]

The Corner of Shame

If you've ever had the honor of visiting my palace, you no doubt couldn't miss the now legendary Corner of Shame. The Corner of Shame is just inside my front door, next to my great-great grandfather's handmade chest of drawers, and consisted of various sad, saggy boxes that contained my Old Ass computer from the 90s. I can now declare with Glee and Highkicks that the Corner of Shame is NO MORE! I finally cleared all of that shite out. After X years of it sitting there, gathering dust and serving as a Shame Table on which I stored my bags, old magazines and various change, it is finally gone.

Of course, having no idea what the computer still stored, I got it in my head that opening it up and yanking out all of the fancy, shiny components would render it somehow inoperable. I got almost everything out--and to this I owe a great debt of gratitude to Mr. Chan who I observed disassembling and reassembling various computers o so many years ago--however, I finally realized that I could not remove the biggest part of it--the (I'm guessing here) motherboard?--which meant that I was completely screwed in my endeavors...BUT. It's lovely when you realize that a useless antique can be made into a dandy little table with the right covering...and so that is it's new life: once I find the right cloth to cover it up, anyway. In the meantime, did you ever notice how those little microchip board dealies (YES, I know that's not the NAME, OK) look like little cities?

Speaking of My Foyer

Adair gave me a piece of art she made by hand, from her head, and I am so proud to now have it on display. SEE:

We had some discussion about art on the day she handed it over--is it art if it's just for fun, stress relief, a steam valve that keeps you from KILLKILLKILL, etc.--but I have to say that there's something particularly eerie about Adair's choice to give me this particular piece of art. I'm a MOMA freak and head straight to the modern art section of the MET every time: I have to say that this winsome little lovely just speaks to me. Hey Adair, maybe that's the real art? How did you know that this was exactly the one I would dig, truly and completely?

Dreaming is Free

I had two interesting dreams this past week:

Dream 1: I found myself at the University of Someplace in the South, looking at my new dorm room, discovering I was registered, and that class started tomorrow. All of my stuff was still back in NYC and I hadn't made a single plan to move...including quitting my job. Yasmin was my roommate and she was (as usual) bullying me to just DO IT (and NO I haven't talked to the cop since Sunday and NO I am not baking him cookies dammit, bully!) but I was freaking out because the classes were paid for and there was no turning back. Then she made me go to an orientation kegger and I said oh, OK. As the kids say: Win?

Dream 2: I had my first chicken dream last night! It was all about other crap--various ex-boyfriend drama, travel, intrigue, etc.--but at one point we were staring out of a caved in roof and saw this giant brown and red rooster, 10 times the normal size, strutting toward the apex, apparently readying to crow. Then this weird talking owl distracted me, the rooster was gone, and all hope was lost. What do rooster dreams mean, anyway...and what does it mean if you get cock blocked by an owl?

Ooo, too fresh?

Finally: I am a Very Good Driver

This video is painfully boring to everyone but me. It features me driving on the interstate between Kansas City and Wichita after visiting the wee beeb Noah and his wonderful parents, Dave and Ruth. Note the Journey playing in the background. This video sucks in terms of adequately showing you the Flint Hills, so all I can hope is that you'll someday have the pleasure of driving it in person. It really is lovely and, given the right amount of imagination, quaintly enchanted. Yeah, I said it. Enchanted. Goooollld I tell ya.


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