Happy 4th of July, Patriots!

I love how the mainstream media mocks the growing trend of the youngsters getting their news from comedy sources like The Daily Show, but how else would I know what kind of messed up shenanigans are going down on ultra conservative jerk off shows like Glenn Beck's? Behold:

[Sorry, had to remove this one, too. Thanks again, Assholes.]

So there you go, Americans. Don't forget to stop, drop, and roll on the 4th, thanks to the right-hand-job crazies. Is this what failure looks like? No wonder I'm 0% competitive. Jesus. While we're putting out the flames, just a quick shout out to the soldiers that died so that I can live in relative safety compared to the rest of the world. Thanks, Grandpa! For freedom!