No Lucky Ducky...

...but there's always time for the slutty "Sex Machine."

This is one of the ones you were thinking of, mum. I was, what, fourteen? This is how my evil high school corrupted me. I was the title character, in case you were confused. The young man pictured was not my co-star. I don't remember the skit but it was very short, comical, and I think I was basically a slutty robot tease. Not much acting necessary. This dress was very fitting. The foil in my hair evokes: 1. The 80s, 2. Technologically advanced robo-ho, and 3. noooooooo budget.

I don't think there were ever pictures of the Lucky Ducky phase of my life, mum. There were no costumes, so it was more about acting the part. Which is so much worse. The picture I really do wish you had? Valley Girl Maid Marian. Like, O mi' God, fer shure.